05 December 2005

Brew Crew, Mike Owns Shakespeare...

So, as I previously promised I would, keeping up with the Brewers this season, the most I have to report at the moment is the introduction of a new Sunday-home-game jersey (much like the Braves did this year with their new red 3rd jersey). Normally I would be frustrated with such crass commercialization, but when the commercialization is as hip and awesome as this, I shut my stupid mouth.

The best/ worst part though, is the caption on the first picture attached to the article. It reads, and in small part, details Milwaukee's only significant aquisition of this offseason:

Former Brewers players Robin Yount, Dale Sveum, Gorman Thomas and Jerry Augustine (from left) took part in Thursday’s festivities.

That's right- mere moments after I'd declared Milwaukee my Official BSMemorial 2006 NL Team, they hired Diamond Dale Sveum as their 3rd base coach. I wonder if Doug Melvin owed John Henry a favor or something.

Anyway, seen here in the picture are Brewers catcher Damian Miller and IF/ OF Bill Hall, looking remarkably kickass in the high socks. Those uniforms are just impossibly cool. In fact, it'll take a lot of restraint to keep me from a size 48 #15 Ben Sheets at any point this season.

The bulk of the Brewers' offseason rumor-milling surrounds 1B Lyle Overbay, whom is likely to be traded with the emergence of young Prince Fielder to the position. In fact, one potential suitor is Boston, who needs a 1B and has Matt Clement, whom Milwaukee was reportedly interested in at one point. Another rumor has Toronto poking around, but they still have Hillenbrand, Hinske and Koskie, which would require one of them to be dealt in order to consider it.

We shall see...

So I went home this weekend to see Mike in his new play, performing the role of Nick Bottom in A Midsummer Night's Dream. All I can say is- pure domination.

If you've never seen/ read the play, it's about a group of four people- two men, two women- tangled up in a farcical romantic knot, running through the jungle and having said knot tightened by a mystical set of creatures and ne'er-do-wells. Simultaneously we see the preparation of a play by a band of actors for the upcoming wedding of a local luminary. In the company is Nick Bottom, a haughty, self-possessed, hammy actor that isn't as great as he thinks he is. Kind of like Fred Willard's character in Waiting for Guffman, though not quite as near retardation.

At one point, one of the many spells cast in the play turns Bottom into a jackass and has the queen of the forest falling in love with him. Comedy gold.

Anyway, it's not really a leading role- I don't know that there is one in this play, but if there is, Bottom really isn't it. That being said, Mike made it the lead role in this play. It was like watching Roger Clemens of 86-88 coming down and throwing to a bunch of high schoolers full-bore. It was unreal. I mean, you see the kid pitching in high school, and he's All-State, and he's got a scholarship and some offers for the upcoming draft. You think, "shit, this kid is good!" He's blowing kids away, has a 2.30 ERA, can hit pretty well too.

Then here comes Roger- a man's body, 96 on the gun, no contact from anyone. You think, "well this isn't fair- he belongs in a higher class." That's what it was like.

He was doing this hilarious little things, too, to make shit even funnier- when all the fairies bent down to him, he did this tiny little shudder of surprise that was killing me even hours later. They built him this giant ASS-head too for when he became the donkey, and just watching him walk around in it was funny as hell.

The costume was freaking me out though- the pants he was wearing stretched out on him made him look like he's about 7' 5", when he's really about 6' 5".

This play was even better than his last, Grease!, production-wise, and in his performance too. Pure, total, unadulterated domination. Wouldn't it be weird if he became famous at some point, and like US Weekly got a hold of this blog, which like documented his early career? And then they quoted THIS sentence as like a "his family knew he'd be famous from early on" type of thing? And then they quoted THIS sentence in a "this fucking dude with a blog can predict the future and all sorts of shit- evidenced right HERE."

That'd be intense. I'd be so happy if this blog appeared in US Weekly. I've never read it- it's a prestigious magazine, correct?

EDIT: Survey removed to protect the humorless

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