28 October 2005

Fun With Photos, Simmons on SNL...

Check out these douchebags at McDonalds. I walked in, in a rush (which is why I was at McDonald's in the first place) and ran upstairs to inhale my chicken nuggets. Along one wall was a "stand-and-eat" area, and right on top of it were two laptop computers, out of their nearby cases, plugged right into the nearby wallsocket, charging. Awesome. Don't think that's what those sockets are for, but have at it boys. The world's your oyster.

Then, like ten minutes later, cowbells 1 and 2 mosey back over to their PCs, flip em open, and start talking shop as they dick around on their wireless internet connection... IN MC-FUCKING-DONALD'S!

"So I've got 'Cheeseburger in Paradise' on last night, and I'm thinking about who I was gonna put money down on for the big GAME Sunday..."


THEN, the other night I was walking along 80th St., and looking into a window as I passed, I saw (on the right here), with thoughts of how pissed I was Lost was in repeats, the Dharma symbol in someone's window (only with a mirror in the middle and not the name of some creepy, unknown freak organization). I know my cameraphone blows nugget pouch. This is true. But you'll just have to trust me that, beyond the geometric similarities, it has the same alternating triple dash/ line pattern that the one from the show does. See here for another example.

So, couple that with my aforementioned $108 million in lotto sighting, and I'm convinced someone's fucking with me. They have to be.

A while back, after the TREMENDOUS Paris Hilton episode of SNL, I wrote this glorified eulogy for the show stating that not only had it traveled so far afield of what it originally intended, it simply wasn't even watchable anymore. It's like a control experiment in how bare-minimum entertaining something can be before they stop watching it. Just HOW far can you coast on reputation? Here's something I mentioned:

For instance, there is Horatio Sanz. Horatio can be funny- intermittently- but rarely can he carry a sketch. He's the fat silly guy on the show- fine, whatever. What's striking about Sanz though is how little interest, effort, or conviction he puts into his work on one of the famous American institutions on television. Consistently trying to get everyone laughing during a sketch instead of reading their marginally humorous lines, breaking character, doing every part exactly the same to get his castmates to laugh. If it didn't seem wholly calculated to be "cute" or "memorable," I'd wonder why he hadn't been fired yet. But there he is every week, this seemingly slovenly guy, drooling over himself not giving a shit he's on SNL, sabotaging every piece of material he appears in.

Now, I bring this up because, though I'm not huge fan, Bill Simmons mentioned in his blog about how he, someone that loved the show much more than I ever did, had really gotten beyond reproach for him as well. Check out what he wrote:

On an unrelated note, what's happening to Saturday Night Live is almost tragic. This season makes the Charles Rocket season, the Anthony Michael Hall season and the Janeane Garofolo season seem amusing by comparison. Remember the days when the sketches were funny, cast members could pull of celebrity impressions and the Weekend Update hosts didn't laugh hysterically at their own jokes? It's like Lorne Michaels went back and studied every mistake with every bad SNL season, then incorporated it into this season of shows.

Way too many cast members (check) ... cast members breaking up during sketches (check) ... gratuitous celeb cameos for no real reason (check) ... sketches written solely in the hope that they could becoming a running sketch (check) ... Horatio Sanz (check) ... generic political-based openings that seem the same every week (check) ... Weekend Update hosts giggling at their own jokes (check) ... niche cast members with no real star power (check).

Put it this way: I stumbled across Mad TV's parody of "House, MD" on Saturday night ... other than Bill Hader's Pacino impersonation in the first show, that "House" parody was better than anything I've seen on SNL all season. How scary is that? And by the way, I would be 10 times angrier about this SNL thing if it wasn't for TiVo -- you can just easily fly through every bad sketch. For example, it took me about 10 minutes to watch Saturday's show. That's better than 90, I guess.

Couldn't have said it better myself... wait, I did. Ha. Consider this a gratuitous pat on the back I guess. But more to the point, I just really agree with him. Last time I check it out, it was for a couple minutes on the season premiere, and Mike and I wondered if they'd simply brought a caravan down to Washington Square Park and kidnapped some NYU kids for new castmembers. It's beyond dead at this point.

What a joke.

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