23 March 2005

Catchin' Up...

OK, so here's the Fever Pitch trailer. Since every Sox fan is opining on this, and more than a few are being their usual petulant Sox-fan-whiney-babies about it, I felt the need to weigh in on it a bit.

First of all, any trailer/ movie that features David Ortiz, Trot Nixon, Manny Ramirez, Fenway Park, and, well, Drew Barrymore, is immediately in the positive for me. It's a race-car, and it's in the motherfucking red.

So what are the complaints? The usual. "I've been a Red Sox fan all my life, and I waited SO long for this championship, only to see Drew Barrymore and Jimmy Fucking Fallon making out on the field as they celebrated?! This is a disgrace."

Except it's not. Did it really undermine the victory for anyone? Did it really rob you of any enjoyment? At the end of the day, was it anything but an empty reason for certain types to act like the pisspot Sox fan? I mean, it was kind of a lame "commerce-over-emotion" moment, but I could honestly have cared less. To be honest, the ones with a beef would be Cardinals fans- that's a genuine reason to feel like grumbling. It was harmless. It was for a movie. Had nothing to do with the brilliant celebration. So stop whining about it, please.

OK, what else- ah, right. Jimmy Fallon. Apparently he doesn't meet the Sox-fan-in-a-movie pedigree. OK. I gotta say though, I'm guessing Lawrence Olivier didn't meet the Nazi-dentist pedigree either, but it was OK. You know why? They're FUCKING ACTORS! It's their job to be something they're not. Nevermind the fact that Fallon, with the right material, can be really funny. So it's not the end of the world.

I can't argue that it sucks they're taking a book about an English soccer fan- one that had already been made into a movie- and American-izing it. That says a lot more about Hollywood creativity though than it does about the movie's prospects relative to the Boston Red Sox. The Farrelly Brothers are making it- not a surefire stamp of approval to be sure, but they've also had their masterpieces. It could happen again.

It does, as well, appear to be a bit of a chick flick in places, something that I'm not totally jazzed about, but call me crazy- if I'm going to have to go to a chick flick every now and then, at least this one has footage of the Boston Red Sox winning the goddamn World Series. At least too it's not starring someone annoying like Julia Roberts or whatever. Drew Barrymore- come on. She's adorable. You have to love her. Cute as a pile of buttons.

So I'm going into it with an open mind. I'm not saying it's going to be a great movie- it could be awful. I'm just sort of amazed a lot of Sox fans don't see it as a leg up to have Red Sox as the central character in a movie. Sox fans can be like the Catholic Church with this pathetic persecution complex sometimes. Buck up, it'll be a fun movie. Mike and I were actually at one of the games they kept the crowd at afterwards to film- the scene where Drew Barrymore runs on the field from CF to home, where Fallon is apparently sitting. The actors they got to play Red Sox on the field looked like caterers or something, and the CF they had was dressed up like Damon, which was a nice touch.

I still say the movie probably would have been better had they lost, but I'll take that tradeoff.

"Really, they should show tapes like [this episode] at church and stuff, because I mean, something this great just proves there's a God."


That was Mike talking about a recent episode of Real World/ Road Rules Challenge: The Inferno II. In it, Tonya (pictured above) went haywire- basically, Beth told Robin that Tonya had been spreading word about how she and Robin's now-boyfriend Mark had been "hooking up." Robin confirmed with Mark that this was "untrue," at which point Robin went straight to the source and did not spare the claws. "Dirty whore" was thrown around. It was a tense moment to be sure.

Then, pissed at being tattled on, Tonya went into Beth's room, where she was sleeping, demanding the truth. When Beth was hesitant to talk, Tonya took her clothes- all of em- and brought them out to the pool, where she summarily emptied the contents into the bottom. Beth arose, and comforted herself with idle threats like, "If my stuff is damaged Tonya, you're going to die."

Tonya had a really buzzed look in her eye, and whether that was due to cocaine or her recent catfight victory, no one could tell. But, suffice it to say, it was one of the great moments I've ever witnessed on a TV show. Say what you want about trashy reality TV, but no other medium offers just obscure human behavior on this grand a level. Fascinating to watch. Almost like the Discovery Channel for coked out has-beens.

This season has already been insane. I haven't been keeping TOO close a watch (but it isn't tough to get caught up on three episodes), but easily the greatest line ever, from any of the Real World, Road Rules, etc franchises was spoken by John the Virgin in a recent episode. You remember John- country singer, cowboy hat, no sex til marriage- colossal Jesus Freak. Well, he inexplicably showed up for the Bacchanal that is the Inferno, about 65 lbs heavier than his old playing weight from Real World: Los Angeles 15 some-odd years ago. His first day(s) were spent losing a mission and wearing a "JESUS IS REAL!" tshirt.

So then there he was, in the awkward position of being the (almost literally) dead weight on a team that needed someone to take the Miz's place in the Inferno. So, he bucked up and took it like a man. After deciding to go in Miz's place, John had this to say to the camera:

"Just as Jesus sacrificed himself for all of us, maybe this is a chance for me to do that for my team. The inferno could be like the hell, and then I could, you know, step up and take the place of somebody like Christ did for us on the Cross."

Direct quote. I swear.

A terrific interview with Rob Neyer by David Laurila over at RSN.net. Check it out.

"And I am Laaa-hhhss."

So I was home for Mike "Bro Jackson"'s b-day this weekend. I got him the 2004 Sox playoff games on DVD (and by that I mean I arrainged for the DVDs to be sent to him as soon as my money gets sent- I gotta get on that). He also got a new guitar from Mom, a gym membership from Dad and a nice shirt from Colleen, the sister. Not a bad take. Also, I took it upon myself to hook him up with MLB Extra Innings, so for the first time in his life, Mike will see more than about 5 Sox games this year. It will be glorious.

Lotta really solid sleep time and junk food. Not bad. I must say though, to my mom- next time I come home, have the soda stocked up. That's just Bush League.

As a postscript, if you've never seen Disney's Heavyweights, you're a flaming terd and I don't even want to talk to you. Go buy it and watch. It's marvelous. And to Nicholas, wherever you are- you were a great guard. Wise, and fair. Your queen would be fair. I'd like to reward you with a Hershey's kiss...

Go here. Thank me later.

______________________________ |


"It's a race-car, and it's in the motherfucking red."

Well I'm a mushroom cloud-layin mothafucka....

Last time I was at my parents', my mom only had the kind of OJ with "Some Pulp." I'm a "No Pulp" kinda guy, and was gonna blog about how she needed to be more on the ball, but forgot. Glad you're doing your part keeping the moms out there in check.

I'm about to go play curveball, and I'll see if it's better than the one from the old (and my glory-) days of the RSN.Net arcade.

By Blogger Jere, at 3/23/2005 6:39 PM  

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