02 September 2004

Stu Scott, the Anti-Christ...well maybe just an asshole.


Stu Scott, believe it or not, gets paid for what he does. This man has made a living talking like a slow eighth grader- and doing it in front of a camera. As if this wasn't frustrating enough, of course he's the most popular news anchor on ESPN. The only access I have to pro sports everyday is of course, SportsCenter. SportsCenter in itself kinda sucks, but when you have a lazy-eyed asshole like Stu Scott giving you your sports info, it makes it FAR worse. I mean it would be one thing for him to read scores and show highlights- but of course, Stu needs to go on about how he somehow knows what is going to happen without any real knowledge.

" ...and Texas is 5 back in the Wild Card... don't worry Rangers fans- it's the Red Sox ."

Hugs and Handpounds, y'all.

As if this wasn't enough, every shitty game show or top 25 list ESPN does he HAS to host it... whatever happened to Kenny Mayne, an actually funny guy who seems to have had prior training in his job? Well you've heard enough of my ranting so I have decided that since that blubbering retard does a top ten list every night on SportsCenter, I'll do one of my own.

Stu showing off his extensive cardboard cut-out collection.

Top Ten Reasons Why You Shouldn't Like Stuart Scott:

  1. His name is Stu

  2. Again, this man gets paid for what he does

  3. There is a t-shirt that is printed that has all his catch phrases on it... including "YAHTZEE!" COOL!

  4. The lazy eye (call me insensitive I don't give a damn)

  5. He has offically convinced himself he is the best anchor on that channel.

  6. He makes a comment absolutely everytime you mention DUKE on the show- seriously, EVERY time.
  7. The guy who won that Dream Job contest doesn't even take him seriously. You can see it in his eyes.

  8. Actual believes in The Curse. Not like normal people- he actually believes that Babe Ruth is chillin' in the outfield knocking down fly balls and stuff. (he loved Angels in the Outfield)

  9. Has come to consider himself an actual celebrity, who people actually care about.

  10. Take a good long look at him and actually listen to what comes out of his mouth- that, my friends, is reason enough.

This guy's name is Stuart Scott too, but he's not an annoying lazy eyed douchebag on ESPN.

-this has been a Broseph production.

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