02 September 2004

Sox Roll...

BOS 12
WP- Terry Adams (5-4)
LP- Aaron Sele (8-2)
HR- K Millar (14)

We're rolling. To quote the Broseph (who NEEDS to write a column here about Stu Scott... much hatred in that boy for that man, but who could blame him), "things are looking up." Indeed. Gained ground on Anaheim and Texas, got a win against a great team when our starter didn't survive the third inning. Right now, it is my firm belief that the Boston Red Sox are the best team in baseball, and especially if These guys find their way back. We're finally putting it all together, and I honestly can't remember a Red Sox team ever playing as well since I've watched them. Nice to see- let's keep it going...

This is insane- is it legal? I don't feel like looking it up, but I would guess, in the US, no. Ah well- it's NOT a posting from the US. For those too lazy to click a link- the girl is 19, pretty hot, and selling her virginity on eBay. I'm serious. The bidding is now at 10 million pounds. Reports are in that Lance Bass has taken his "goin' to space" money and... oh you get it.

Quotes from the listing:

Thanks for taking the time to read my auction!

As you can see, I'm new to eBay, and the reason I've signed up is to sell my virginity. I know this has been done before by people, but I'm a Uni student studying Law, and need my money somehow!

From the photos below, I guess many of you will be thinking "how can she still be a virgin?". Well, to be honest, I've waited for the right guy. And waited. And waited. And he just hasn't come along. I don't think he ever will turn up, so I figured it best to make something out of it

This is the part for John Q Law Official:

For legal reasons, you are bidding on the chance to spend a day and night with me. Anything else that should happen, for example, sexual intercourse, is between two consenting adults and outside of this deal. Please note, I will not have any unprotected sex of any kind.

I particularly love the fact that she lists the auction as "selling her virginity," then tries to create herself a legal loophole by saying that nothing is implicit to happen. "Yea, so the winner gets to be the first guy to fuck me. Of course, to all you pesky legal-beagles- this is ONLY for the right to have FUN! Not necessarily to have SEX. PLEASE don't hate and read into it!" The question-and-answer section on the page is particularly hilarious. I love the fuckin internet...

Spoken like a true PLAYLIST!

David Cross- "Welfare Dentist on a Bender"
David Cross- "Lunch with Frankenstein"
David Cross- "You Go Girl!"
David Cross- "Socks and Shoes"
David Cross- "Playing Pool with My Wife"
David Cross- "Spiderman vs. Batman vs. Wonderwoman On the Rag"
David Cross- "Shaving the Pope's Pussy"
David Cross- "Monica Lewinsky and the Three Bears"
David Cross- "Fake Tits/ Real Beer"
David Cross- "My Wife's Crazy!"
David Cross- "Flying on a Mexican Plane"
David Cross- "Abortion Doctor From Hell!"
David Cross- "Socks and Shoes, Pt. 2"
David Cross- "My Daughter's First Date"
David Cross- "Diarrhea Moustache"
David Cross- "If Baseballs Had AIDS on Them"
David Cross- "Goodnight Assholes!"
David Cross- "Certain Leaders in Government Look or Act Like Certain Pop Culture References!"
David Cross- "Women, Please Rinse Off Your Vagina and Anus!"
David Cross- "I've Taken a Popular Contemporary Pop Song and Changed the Lyrics ro Comment on the Proliferation of Starbucks in My Neighborhood!"
David Cross- "A Rapid Series of Comic Noises!"
David Cross- "Although Indigent, Rural Families Have Little to Say in the Matter, Third Rate Educations Have Kept Them Ignorant, and Thus Great Sources of Ridicule!"
David Cross- "My Child is Enthralling, Especially When It Says Something Unexpectedly Precocious, Even Though It Doesn't Know What It Just Said!"
David Cross- "My Immigrant Mom Talks Funny!"
David Cross- "When It Comes to Jews, Behavior One Might Find Obnoxious, Or Annoying, I Will Present as Quirky, And It's OK To Joke Because I, Myself, Am Jewish!"
David Cross- "Pandering to the Locals!"
David Cross- "Even Though I am In the Closet, That Won't Stop Me From Getting Cheap Laughs at the Expense of Homosexuals!"
David Cross- "Weathermen Have Become, For the Most Part, Obsolete!"
David Cross- "When All Is Said and Done, I am Lonley and Miserable and Barely Able to Mask My Contempt for the Audience as I Trot Out the Same Tired Act I've Been Doing Since the Mid-Eighties!"

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