11 August 2004

Manny the Pitchman...

Yo...where'd it go? Fuck, I can't even see my HR. Again. This is bogus.

Adam Dunn is off the HOOK, yo! Seriously though... 501 feet. Into the Ohio River which, by the way, qualifies as Kentucky. The mofo crossed state lines. By all means- check the yakkah out right HERE. The best part? The douchebag calling the game could care less. The ball left the entire facility! If that doesn't raise your voice, give your fucking job to me.

I've decided to review the new commercial airing on NESN for Olympia Sports... starring Manny Ramirez. That's right. Manny's fourth full season in Boston- and the first commercial finally arrives. About FUCKING time, especially considering that Manny is, without question, one of the funniest, goofiest, least self conscious athletes in the world. He is actually the basis for the movies "Freaky Friday," "Vice Versa" and "Like Father, Like Son"- I'm convinced Manny has a kid running around paying the bills and dealing with the agents and stuff. A voodoo curse was placed on the Ramirez home, and Manny is his 12 year old kid in a Baby Bull's body.

Anyway, here's the rub- Manny walks into Olympia Sports and is looking for a pair of cleats. The guy gets him the cleats, "Size 11" (see ladies? it probably IS big) and Manny envisions himself winning World Series MVP. He smiles, holding the cleats. "Exactly," he says.

Then he's being rung up for the shoes, and the teller goes "World Series MVP, huh Manny?" Wait! HOW CAN HE READ MANNY'S MIND!?! What the FUCK? Manny looks at the camera, puzzled and smiles. End commercial.

It is the greatest commercial of all time. Just so odd and poorly made- Manny's acting capabilities makes him a great porn star candidate- that it's funny, makes you smile and love Manny even more. Turns out it WAS possible.

I love that man.

Today's playlist:

PJ Harvey- "Dress"
Prince- "Controversy"
Radiohead- "High and Dry"
Ray Charles- "Don't Let the Sun Catch You Cryin'"
Rolling Stones- "Dear Doctor"
Rolling Stones- "Monkey Man"
Sleater Kinney- "Dig Me Out"
Stevie Wonder- "I Wish"
The Fugees- "Ready or Not"
Radiohead- "2+2=5 (The Lukewarm)"
Red Hot Chili Peppers- "The Righteous & the Wicked"
Jackson Browne- "Running on Empty"
The Darkness- "I Believe in a Thing Called Love"
The Beatles- "All Things Must Pass (Demo-1969)"
Beck- "High 5 (Rock the Catskills)"
Cornershop- "Brimful of Asha"
Foo Fighters- "Everlong"
Jesus Lizard- "Boilermaker"
John Lennon- "Well, Well, Well"
Kings of Leon- "Spiral Stairs"
Led Zeppelin- "The Song Remains the Same"
Little Richard- "Long Tall Sally"
Loretta Lynn- "Van Lear Rose"
Melvins- "Set Me Straight"
Michael Jackson- "PYT (Pretty Young Thing)"
Mission of Burma- "That's When I Reach For My Revolver"
My Bloddy Valentine- "When You Sleep"
Neil Young and Crazy Horse- "Powderfinger"
Nirvana- "Talk to Me" (live)
Nirvana- "Marigold"
Otis Redding- "Mr. Pitiful"
Outkast- "Slump"
Pavement- "...and Carrot Rope"
Pixies- "Caribou"

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